I'm Doing It

On Tuesday, I decided to freeze my eggs.  

Tuesday was my third visit to the reproductive clinic during which I took an hour long "class" and learned how to administer the required hormone injections.  I learned how to change the dosage on pen injections, mix dosages, screw on long needles, and “pinch an inch” and give myself a subcutaneous injection.  Instead of freaking me out, it actually made it real for me, as if going through with this is within the realm of possibility and I felt emboldened that I could handle it.

Until Tuesday, I was forcing myself to go through the motions of pursuing what has long been a personal wish: to freeze my eggs before age 35+, that “scary age” when egg quality is said to decline precipitously.  The most recent leg of my egg freezing journey was like training for a marathon (not that I've ever done any such thing), in which the pain of training makes you forget why you decided to run the marathon in the first place.  I'd gotten the blood tests, had the consultation with the reproductive specialist, supplied the IVF coordinator with all the necessary medical results, logically mapped out when was the soonest I could do this without interfering with work or social schedule, but I still felt divorced from the actual procedure.  So there was something about going through the day-by-day treatment schedule with the nurse-- when I need to take what, learning what each injection did for me, how often I will need to come in-- that crystallized for me that this is real, this is something I'm doing for me.

I'm a typical candidate for oocyte cryopreservation, the fancy term for "egg freezing".  I'm a 34-year old woman, have a great career, no sign of a future partner on the horizon, and I'm just not in a position to have kids right now.  But I know that I really want kids some day (whether with someone or on my own).  While some girls dream of their wedding when they’re little, I always dreamed of being a mother.  I want to do everything I can to increase the chance of my having kids when the time is right.

I'm writing this blog because I found it difficult to find good, first person information about what is involved in undergoing egg freezing.  All the clinics and their websites paint a rosy picture and oversimplify the many steps, decisions, risks and costs.  I felt like I found bits and bobs of information about the various aspects of the entire process, but no single source that addressed not just the medical aspects but the emotional ones as well.  Unlike IVF and other reproductive treatments, there just isn't as much information out there about egg freezing.  I hope this will be helpful to other women out there who are exploring whether egg freezing is right for them, as oocyte cryopreservation becomes a more popular procedure.

I will try to address as many aspects of this experience as possible, from the science to the ethical and financial considerations to the actual medical process as I go through it.  But above all else, this is a very personal journey and so I make no representation that this blog is capturing anything other than my own experience and thoughts.  

More tomorrow, when I will recap some of what's happened so far.